I grew up in a family where my parents were always fighting. At some stage I decided to crawl into my brother’s bed for a cuddle. He was 4 years older than me. I was an affectionate child and just wanted a cuddle from my big brother.
Instead he told me I was his “teddy bear” and proceeded to rub me around and explore my vagina. He did this multiple times. I’m not sure how old I was — I think 7 or 9 — but he just kept telling me I was his teddy bear. I realised this was not right and went to sleep with my sister instead.
I finally confronted him about this at age 32, I had repressed it for many years and he admitted to it all. I gained a lot of weight after this incident and still have weight issues to this day and let’s just say after remembering and confronting him our “close” relationship has never been the same.
I had a best friend who I later found out was raped as a child and she too used to want to lie in bed and touch my private parts. I knew it felt wrong but when you brother and best friend are both doing it what’s a 7 year old meant to think? These are the people you trust.
I had a boyfriend in high school that held my head down so hard on his penis until I was gagging and couldn’t breathe. I never wanted to do this sexual act. He ruined that sexual act that maybe I would have enjoyed as an adult for me at just age 16.
I also had my drink spiked at a university camp and woke up the next morning in intense pain. I can’t remember anything that happened but my friends told me stories of my bizarre behaviour like walking around naked and all I can say is that I don’t think just his penis was used. I only remember having half a glass of champagne.
These are just a few of the stories I remember, I’m sure there are more instances of violation and my wants not being respected.
I am 1 in 3.